Often we hear the phrase: "You need to be polite!”, However, it’s easy to say, but it’s not always possible to do it. But we say everydaythank"And"you are welcome", Smile in response to a smile. Courtesy helps people feel confident and promotes good relationships.
Politeness - This is a behavioral and moral character trait that appears in the ability to tactfully and respectfully treat other people. Politeness is expressed in good manners.
How to be polite with acquaintances
Be positive in any situation. Try to cheer up your friends when it's hard. Remember that any situation has two sides - positive and negative. Try to help people see the positive, they themselves will consider the negative:
- Do not succumb to the praise of the achievements of your friends. If there is reason to congratulate a friend on a new frontier - do it!
- do not skimp on compliments. This is especially nice to girls. Try to find words that will be pleasant.
- Leave all your negativity, which perhaps does not allow you to be polite enough.
Be polite to all people. If you are polite only with people from your circle of friends, and with those who are not cool and not popular, then no, then you can say that you are completely not polite.
How to be polite with strangers
A smile, as a rule, shows the openness of the soul of the person who gives it, and has a reciprocal smile. Remember how in the children's song: "Share your smile, and she will come back to you more than once!".
- smile at a casual passer-by or a seller in a store, a conductor in a trolley bus or someone with a random look
- smile when you are not in a very good mood, because others should not suffer from this
Do not forget about polite words - please, thank you, there is nothing at all for others. Be patient and attentive.
Remember that respecting people will contribute to others, treat you the same way.
Feel free to give way in public transport to women, the elderly, pregnant.
Try to help people if they need your help.
6. Love animals
It may sound strange, but polite people will never scoff at animals. They love lesser brothers in reason and it doesn’t matter - it’s a pet or a homeless tramp.
To be polite - means to be tolerant of the shortcomings of others.
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1. Politeness behind the wheel - akin to killing
A simple example. You drive in the right lane along a one-way street, and there are two lanes on this street. Here you see that some well-dressed girl is trying to cross the road. It is located a few blocks from the nearest intersection, there are no pedestrian crossings nearby either, it is obviously in a hurry, and may well just get stuck there without crossing the other side. You slow down slightly, meet her eyes, and then wave your hand, indicating that you can move on.
And become a killer.
Lawyers have long been familiar with similar situations. They even have a special term for this - "Death Wave." The problem is that when the driver allows the pedestrian to cross the road, only to appear polite, the pedestrian subconsciously assumes that the driver has already looked around. In the end, he would hardly have waved without first checking all the neighboring bands, right?
No not always.
It often happens that a driver’s gesture means only “if you are now crossing the road in front of my car, I won’t cross you.” Notice, in the example under consideration, it is not indicated anywhere that you checked what is happening behind you.
As a result, there is an excellent chance that it will be you who are responsible for the fact that a well-dressed lady will turn into mincemeat when she is hit by a car flying in the adjacent left lane (with which a pedestrian is not visible on the road).
The same applies to situations with a left turn (according to the rules, a driver who decides to turn left should first let those traveling in the oncoming lane). Wave to someone out of politeness, without first checking the strip near you, and you will have good chances to get to the hospital. Because good manners do not cancel traffic rules.
2. Politeness to the boss can lead to the death of innocent people
Surely everyone came across this: your boss did something stupid. However, you are not telling him something like: “Well, where did you get these numbers from the report? From the ceiling? Do you even think what you are doing? ” No, this is considered rude.
Instead, you act more delicately: “Oh, do you know what is the most difficult thing in the world? Maths! And spreadsheets. I can’t even imagine how to deal with this. ”
Saying all this, you also gesticulate to look more convincing in the eyes of the boss. Experts call this "softened speech."
There are several studies suggesting that courtesy should be added to the list of things prohibited for airline employees.
The problem is that in order deciphering a polite and delicate hint of stupidity requires much more mental effort than deciphering a straightforward and rude indication of an error.
Moreover, this harms not only our hypothetical "business". “Softened speech” can lead to the deaths of very real people: approximately 80% of airplane crashes occur due to human errors. But what these statistics do not show is that how many catastrophes could be avoided if people on board did not play word games, trying not to be rude to their superiors.
Nevertheless, there are several studies suggesting that courtesy should be added to the list of things prohibited for airline employees, especially in cases where co-pilots provide vital information to the commander.
One such incident occurred in 1892, when an Air Florida aircraft was preparing to fly to Washington. A dangerous amount of ice formed on the wings of the plane, and the second knew it. But instead of saying bluntly: “Commander, there is too much ice on the wings,” he said: “Look, the ice just hangs there, ah, from behind, behind there, you see it”?
When the commander did not understand what he was hinting at, the pilot tried again: "Look at all these icicles there, behind and everywhere."
But he was still not understood.
All this guy did with his message was to give the commander a false sense of security.
After another unsuccessful attempt to politely speak with the commander, and tell him that it was dangerous to fly, the plane took off. A few minutes later, the pilot finally said everything directly, and he was understood. His next sentence was: "Larry, we're coming down, Larry."
At that day, at least 78 people regretted that the co-pilot did not immediately say everything as is.
3. Good manners in conversation prevent a woman from expressing her point of view
Politeness and etiquette, in principle, boil down to the fact that a person knows his place and acts accordingly. Suppose, if you are a student, then a formal appeal to the teacher is polite. And if you got to the royal banquet, then it is assumed that you will fill a tablespoon only two-thirds.
Let's see how men and women talk. Women usually use dialogue constructs that emphasize participation, intimacy, and group harmony.
Men, on the other hand, seem to be having a word match, there are often pauses in their speech, answers may be delayed, and so on.
And this is wonderful when men talk with other men - they all use approximately the same tactics.
But in the conversations of the group, which includes both men and women, the female style of communication contributes to the suppression of women's needs, it contributes to submission to men in order to maintain harmony in the group. Thus, women put themselves at a lower level in the social hierarchy. Moreover, this happens even when a woman has a higher social status than a man, for example, when a male patient is talking to a female doctor.
One study was conducted, the main purpose of which was to find out how much time in the conversation falls on men and women, and more importantly, find out how they feel if the talk time, if these shares are not equal.
Researchers secretly recorded conversations between test men and women, and then conducted a survey. The survey revealed that all women believed that they got enough time in the conversation, and everything was fair, although the actual time of their conversation varied from 8 to 42%.
Meanwhile, men complained that they did not receive a fair share of the talk time, even when they dominated the conversation 75% of the time.
4. Politeness with your doctor suppresses the self-preservation instinct
Being not too attentive to your doctor seems like a very bad idea. However, there is a problem here, and it arises when the short-term need to be polite is stronger than the long-term need not to die.
40% of Britons they won’t go to the hospital with cancer symptoms simply because they think not very polite to bother the doctor their personal inconveniences.
And who on Earth would prefer a slow death of short rudeness?
Let's look at the British.
In 2009, a survey funded by Cancer Research UK showed that 40% of Britons would not go to the hospital with symptoms of cancer simply because they thought it was not very polite to bother the doctor with their personal inconvenience. What is especially strange is that these "personal inconveniences" are precisely the reason why doctors exist.
Compared to the rest of Europe, it is estimated that 11,000 deaths could be prevented annually in Britain if the British turned to doctors on time.
By the way, the British are not the only people whose politeness gets in the way of health. People from Southeast Asia living in the United States also fall into a similar trap when they seek medical help. This is because Asians respect the authority of the medical staff, and they consider it rude to question their treatment methods or the diagnostic findings of doctors.
5. Politeness turns societies into powder kegs filled with violence and killings.
Do you have a neighbor who is too, too polite? Of course, it may turn out that he is a member of some sect or something like that. Be that as it may, you cannot get rid of the feeling that something is wrong with him. Maybe he’s hiding several corpses in his basement. At first glance, all this is very similar to a strange, unfounded accusation, but nevertheless there is some truth to this.
Anthropologists have found that an extremely polite society is also extremely cruel.
This is clearly seen in the most diverse cultures of Asia, Africa and the Mediterranean. Such as the kun-san people from the Kalahari desert. Anthropologists describe these people as mild, harmless, with good and peaceful traditions. Nevertheless, the number of murders among them is three times higher than in the United States.
And in this sense they are not alone. The Jebusi from Papua New Guinea are also known as exceptionally warm and friendly people. And the number of murders they have is also 50 times more than the average for the United States, and during the period from 1940 to 1982 a third of the adult population was killed there.
And what is this talking about?
Well, it seems that incredible politeness, ultimately, can be a catalyst for incredible violence. If in society everyone is constantly very polite, and someone at some point violates this social code, then this becomes a great insult. This situation should be corrected.
And they usually correct it through stabbing.